


Cranberries

by kaci3PO



Category: Happy Endings (TV)
Genre: F/M, Misses Clause Challenge, Yuletide 2012
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-19
Updated: 2012-11-19
Packaged: 2017-11-19 02:07:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaci3PO/pseuds/kaci3PO
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave and Alex want to host Christmas at their new apartment. Jane is Jane about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cranberries

**Author's Note:**

  * For [perfectlystill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfectlystill/gifts).



When Alex and Dave decide that they want to have Christmas celebrations at their new apartment, Jane is naturally reticent. Forget the fact that she's not entirely on board with them being back together and moving this fast, what bothers Jane most is the fact that she knows _they won't do it right_.

Jane loves her sister and Dave might as well be her adoptive brother at this point (except not, because 1- ew, that would make him Alex's brother, too and 2- he's Penny's sort of adoptive brother now that their parents are dating and Jane can barely handle having one sister), but between Dave's famously bad ideas and Alex's...well, being Alex (she loves her sister, she swears), Jane is having visions of garland hanging haphazardly over the open fire they'll have built in a trash can because Dave thought it would be 'homey' for them all to roast chestnuts together.

Jane doesn't want to die in a fire before she becomes CEO of her own company, is the point.

And certainly not over roasted chestnuts, which she's never even liked anyway.

But between Penny being oddly supportive of any and all things Alex and Dave-related, Brad being excited over having an option for couples' activities that won't end with Brad and Jane being asked to bed, and Max just sort of shrugging and saying, "Whatever you gentiles want, foo'," Jane is overruled.

Christmas at Dave and Alex's is going to be a Thing and all Jane can do is try to minimize the damage.

***

"So," Jane says as she takes a seat across from Alex and Dave at Rosalita's. Her binder thumps pleasantly as it hits the table. "I was thinking that, what with you two still getting settled in at your new place, you're probably overwhelmed now that you also have to plan a Christmas get-together. So I'm giving you my gift early this year."

"A binder?" Alex asks, eyeing it. "Well, it's not really either of our favorite colors, but Dave could use it to organize his recipes, I guess."

"No," Jane says primly. "Your present is me."

"Uh," Dave says. "No offense, Jane. It's nice that you want to help relieve our stress, and I'm sure you've heard all about guys having fantasies about threesomes with sisters, but...I know your parents. You're a very beautiful woman, but no thank you." As an afterthought, he adds, "And I don't think Brad would appreciate it, either."

Jane takes a breath. She will not stab either of them with a candy cane. They are both dear, dear people who she loves very much and she will not do anything unseemly to either of them with a candy cane. Ho ho freaking ho.

"No," she says again. "I'm going to help you organize Christmas." She pats her binder lightly. "As I said, I know you're both very busy getting settled into your new place so — "

"Actually," Alex says, "we're not that busy. Dave's even already unpacked all his boxes." She holds up a hand and Dave high-fives her enthusiastically, looking inordinately proud of himself.

Jane winces internally. "But I'm sure you're still getting comfortable," she plows onwards. "So why don't I help you plan? Take a weight off your shoulders."

Alex and Dave glance at each other, and suddenly Jane is thrown back to high school, watching the two of them communicate silently with each other and wondering — somewhere beneath the knowledge that having a boyfriend wasn't _that_ important — when she would find someone who loved her so much that they could speak volumes without ever saying a word. She remembers, for the first time since their failed wedding, the fact that she used to be jealous of Dave and Alex.

" — a lot of great ideas," Dave is saying when she forces herself to focus on the two of them in the here and now. "So while that's a very kind offer, Jane, we're going to have to decline."

"Yeah," Alex agrees. "It's very sweet of you and I know how much you love organizing, but Dave and I are going to make this the best Christmas ever. Even Max is gonna love it!"

 _Hell,_ Jane thinks as she clutches her binder to her chest. If that's not a harbinger of doom, she doesn't know what is.

***

Things get more troubling when Max waits until Dave and Alex are out of earshot, heading to the bar to order a round of drinks, and then suddenly confides, "Guys, I think Dave is trying to make Christmas dinner out of nothing but tofu and nuts. He came by the apartment today to pick up something he left — okay, I stole it and hid it but only because I really wanted — that's not the point. Anyway, he came over and he got a call and I heard him talking about like, veganism and stuff. And I know my people have some weird rules about food so I'm not one to talk about your weird goyim traditions, but I'm not eating tofurkey. I demand real meat!"

"Max," Penny says. "I'm sure it's not what you're thinking. Maybe he was ordering it for the food truck."

"Sure," Max says sarcastically. "I'm sure Dave just randomly decided to buy meat substitute for a food truck called _Steak_ Me Home Tonight."

"He does offer soy options," Penny points out reasonably.

"What? Since when?"

"Since it opened...didn't you work there for like a day? Shouldn't you already know this?"

Max tilts his head to the side, as though thinking. "There...might've been a customer who wanted one, but I thought he was lying."

Penny presses her fingers against her temples and glances at Jane for support.

"Don't look at me," Jane says, holding her palms up. "I tried to get them to let me organize it but they were being all cute and coupley and full of ideas. If we were just having this at our place like usual, everyone would be getting real food."

"Soy turkey?" Dave asks, and Jane glances up to find him hovering just behind her shoulder with her drink in hand. "Who wants soy turkey? You guys have to tell me these things so I can make accommodations for Christmas."

"Sounds like you already have," Max grumbles.

Dave blinks at them all in confusion, but then Alex bounds up behind him and he seems to forget the conversation ever happened at all because he's smiling at her and she's smiling back and they're adorable and Jane wants to gag a little in the back of her mouth but can't quite manage it because...well. It doesn't actually appear to be a show. She's pretty sure they really are that in love with each other.

She still doesn't forgive them for turning down her offer, though.

***

"Mmm," Brad murmurs when he steps into their bedroom. "There's my boo!"

He takes a running dive into their bed, somehow managing to shed his sleep shirt in the process. Some days, Jane is fairly sure he's some kind of sex wizard.

"I've been waiting all day to get my baby all to myself," he says, and moves to kiss her. Then he stops short and pulls back. "Wait. My baby does not look happy."

"No," she agrees. "I can't stop thinking about Dave and Alex."

Brad flops onto his back and rolls to face her. "That's a new one," he says. "It's been a long time since you had one of Dave's cocktails and I have to admit I'm a little disturbed by bringing Alex into it."

Jane makes a face. "That's horrifying. No. Their Christmas party."

"Are you still worried about that?" Brad asks. "I talked to Dave and he promises there will be no open fires, no matter how many Christmas songs implore him to have one."

"It's not just that. Have you ever seen Alex decorate a Christmas tree? She just throws stuff on. There's not even a _color scheme_."

Brad gasps. This is why Jane loves him. Among other things.

"Well," he says after taking a moment to compose himself. "There's more to Christmas than the tree."

"There's also food," Jane agrees. "And it sounds like they're having some kind of hippie-dippy soy fest. Max will starve. They need to think of the children."

"Then Max can raid their fridge and make himself a sandwich."

Jane cuts him a look. "I don't like this. Nothing about this sounds like a good idea."

Brad takes her hands in his. "Babe, are you maybe, just sort of, a little bit jealous of Dave and Alex?"

"What?" she says, and Jane knows her voice is doing that thing where it's obvious she's lying, but she wasn't prepared for it and it's Brad, anyway, so she might as well be honest.

"A little," she finally says. "You don't get it — you weren't around in high school to see them all..."

"You mean when you were single and they were ridiculously adorable together and — " Brad stops. "I've seen pictures. They were."

"And now they are again. Hosting Christmas is our thing," she says. He gives her a look. "Okay, my thing. I'm happy for them if they're both happy to be back together, but they took all the focus when we were younger and now they're taking all the focus again."

"Kind of like how you and I took all the focus in college?" Brad asks, but there's no edge to it.

She sighs. "Yeah. Okay. We did."

"We were pretty cute," he says.

"Pretty damn cute," she agrees.

And then they're looking at each other and lunging towards each other and Jane forgets to worry about Dave and Alex's Christmas celebration for an hour. And a half.

Nothing cute about that.

***

Jane will admit one thing about having Christmas at Dave and Alex's. She and Brad aren't too shabby in the kitchen but Dave. God, Dave. The things that man can make. The entire apartment is full of smells that make Jane want to throw herself face first into a pan of whatever Dave has in the oven and not come out until she is pleasantly rotund from stuffing herself.

Okay, fine, she will grant them one other thing: despite Alex's haphazard decorating style, she does have a beautiful sense of color. The garlands lining the ceiling may not be as neat as Jane would like, but the colors are vibrant and homey and not that garish red and green blob that has always made Jane's eye twitch whenever she encounters it in public places.

There are also no fires, though they have set out bowls of freshly roasted chestnuts on the coffee table and the TV is playing a video of a crackling fireplace on a loop.

"False alarm," Max says as he lets them in. His mouth is full of what Jane thinks might be ham. "Dave made real food."

"Then what — " Brad asks.

Max shrugs. "I'd ask, but I don't care." He takes grabs a handful of chestnuts and starts in on them, and Jane has to look away.

"Hi, guys!" Penny says with more genuine cheer than even this holiday calls for. "Didn't Dave and Alex do a ah-mah-zing job?"

"Awesome," Brad says, and when Jane doesn't immediately answer, he nudges her with his elbow.

"Yes," she says quickly. "It's lovely. I'm just going to go get a glass of water."

She leaves Brad with Max and Penny in the living room and stops just outside the kitchen when she hears her name.

" — Jane never would've forgotten the cranberries," Alex says glumly. "You know she's going to comment on it in that Jane Way she has, where she's all, 'Oh, silly Alex. I am more organized than you. I have my life together more than you. I judge you and all your choices, Alex.' It's just cranberry sauce, for crissake."

"No, she won't," Dave says. "She's actually relaxed and hasn't tried to force us to do this her way."

"Only because she's waiting for us to fail. Just like she's waiting on us to break up again. I could tell she wasn't happy about us being back together, and the way she's been since we moved in — "

"Then she's in for a surprise, isn't she?" Dave asks. "Because we're not going to break up again." There's a short pause, and Jane's chest actually aches when Dave asks, "Right?" with only the slightest waver in his voice.

"No," Alex says. Her voice has gotten soft and Jane can just picture her looking up at Dave with those sincere eyes that could sell ice to someone in Antarctica. In all the time Jane has known her little sister, Alex has never once used that voice when she didn't really mean it.

"Of course not," Alex continues. "It was different last time. We didn't talk. We should've talked, but we didn't. We let things get too far."

"But we're not doing that this time," Dave agrees.

"Nope. See? You were feeling insecure, so you told me. And we're talking about it."

Jane hears Dave sigh through the door. It's not an unhappy sigh, or an exasperated one. It's just pure relief and Jane can practically hear the weight lifting off his chest.

"I love you, Alex," he says.

"Always have," she agrees, and Jane gives them ten seconds to get the kiss she knows must be happening out of their system before she pushes open the door.

They spring apart, flushed and giddy.

"Merry Christmas," Dave says after a moment.

"Merry Christmas," Jane says back, and kisses him once on the cheek before pulling Alex into a hug.

"You seem happy," she whispers, and Alex nods slightly against her.

Jane pulls back, all smiles. "I just came to get a glass of water."

"Actually," Dave says as he undoes his apron. "Can you wait a second? We have a surprise for everyone. Go on, into the living room. Besides, I have egg nog with more bourbon than nog. Why waste a glass on _water_?"

Jane laughs and heads into the living room, although she would be lying if she said she wasn't tensed up at the shoulders. And the legs. And the stomach.

They've done a good job so far, but she is Jane and surprises don't usually turn out well.

"What's wrong, honey bear?" Brad asks when she rejoins them.

"Surprise," she says through clenched teeth.

"Assume crash positions," Max says, but doesn't move from his slump on the couch.

"Guys," Dave says as he and Alex step back into the living room, "we have some guests of honor this Christmas."

Jane braces herself for live reindeer or penguins or a small army of robots dressed up as Christmas elves, and then suddenly she relaxes.

"Mom?!" Penny gasps, and is up off the couch running to her mother in an instant. Big Dave is beside her, their hands clutched together, and that is when Jane spots the rock on Dana's finger.

"Girl," Brad says joyously. "Tell me that is not the iceberg that sunk the Titanic on your finger!"

Penny gasps, grabs her mom's hand, and stares at the ring, and then throws herself first at Dave, then at Alex, and then comes running towards Jane.

"We're going to be siblings!" Penny says to Dave, and then to Alex and Jane, "And you're going to be my sisters-in-law!" She hurls herself at Brad once she's done with Jane (Jane stopped moving and just stood there and took it — there is only so much one can do to fight off an over-enthusiastic Penny) and exclaims, "And you're going to be my brotha-in-law, brotha!"

"Really," Brad says dryly. "You're gonna go with brotha here?" But Jane notices that he returns Penny's hug.

"And I remain related to none of you losers. Thank God," Max says, and cracks open a chestnut.

"My mom is marrying Big Dave, Alex didn't try to have live reindeer in the apartment, and Jane's head hasn't exploded from not being in control of Christmas!" Penny says happily. "It's a Christmas miracle!"

"Dave made real food," Max chimes in. "Let's not lose focus on the _real_ miracle of Christmas."

Dave cocks his head to the side. "Oh, you thought the tofurkey was for you guys? No, that was for Dad and Dana, since they're off meat."

"So considerate," Dana says, and pats Dave on the cheek.

He smiles back at her and Jane can tell immediately that however reticent he might've been about her dating his dad in the beginning, he's put it behind him now. Maybe he just needed time or maybe having Alex back has made him realize how important love is. Jane doesn't know. But Dave is so, so happy to be here with his extended family that it's written all over his face.

***

Later, when everyone has taken a page out of Max's book and is slumped on furniture, holding their distended stomachs, Jane joins Alex in the kitchen to help her clean up.

"Should've known you'd want to help with this part," Alex says wryly.

"Can't help it," Jane says, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm Jane. I like to make things clean."

Alex nods and puts a few dishes in the dishwasher distractedly. "Jane — " she starts, and then stops, shakes her head, and goes back to arranging things.

Jane grabs the cling wrap and gets through covering two dishes of leftovers before Alex blurts out, "I forgot the cranberries. Dave was going to make this really great cranberry sauce and I forgot to buy them and then everywhere was closed and I know you're probably mad at me because hosting Christmas is your thing and I took it, and you're already mad that I'm back together with Dave, and — "

Jane puts both hands on Alex's shoulders and pulls her into a hug.

"No one likes cranberry sauce anyway," she says, and gives Alex an honest smile before going back to putting leftovers in the fridge.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Yuletide, perfectlystill! I wrote this for you after seeing the second episode of this season; it was subsequently jossed quite a bit, for which I hope you'll forgive me. I hope this is what you were looking for in terms of your request and I hope you're having a wonderful Yuletide!
> 
> Thanks to Lexie for the terrific beta!


End file.
